Yeah, I should be in bed.

You really need to crank the volume up on that song, I think. Anyway, I posted it because I think they are singing about me.

So there's a bunch of stuff I want to say but they pop in and out of my mind, fleeting and elusive like the British sunshine. I'll just have to hope they come to me as I type.

Ok, so today I was walking the dog and thinking about what I posted about missing human intimacy (I mean in a non erotic way - seriously) and was getting a bit nostalgic about the ex. Then I read (and I'm sure she won't mind me saying) Flojo's post, which got me thinking again. I had some big problems with her [the ex not Flojo!]. She's a nice enough girl, but significantly less than a year after us splitting up she's moved in with another man. That really tells me a lot about her. See, I like to get to know someone before making that sort of commitment...she's what's I'd call clingy. Maybe she'd say I was slow or detached or something - I don't know, but I suppose that highlights our incompatibility.

So in 9 months she's:

1) Got over me.

2) Found a boyfriend.

3) Moved in with him.

She is VERY fit though - although she was, err, expanding. So I knew boys would be interested. Looks like someone jumped in my seat before it even got cold, eh?

Anyway, right now I see a relationship for me as an impossibility. I'm rather too poor to be able to afford a girl and I'm somewhat damaged goods on the old emotional front (with recent traumas). I haven't had the easiest of lives - but then again who does? On the whole my life's been happy. But the last 12 months [insert long and depressing list here]. Yikes! And to be honest I'm sh*tting myself about what's going to happen next.

I met a girl in January actually, she was pretty nice. I told her right away that I'd just like to be friends - I didn't want a relationship right now. She still seduced me big time. We didn't have sex or anything, I'm not that kind of a guy . And she was getting really keen, so I told her again, I'm really not ready, not now, and probably not for awhile. she was very stroppy with me about that.

She's: "You just used me like all the rest!!"

Lol, I'm: "wtf?"

She's: "Well it's not like you had sex with me, and you could have if you wanted."

I'm: "And your point?"

She's: "You're not like all the rest."

I'm: "Ok, so are friends?"

She's: "Yes."

Crisis averted - whatever that was about. Now she's away as we speak, on holiday with her new bf. Jeeezzz...girls are so shallow and cold blooded. They're like, bam, bam, bam!! I don't begrudge her, of course, but since that convo we had (at the beginning of Feb) she kinda got back together with her ex, split up again, met this other guy and has gone off with him. They're like whirlwinds. No chance of the grass growing under her feet.

I like to take things a bit slower. Show a bit of respect, know what I mean?

I watched Atonement, what a brilliant film (I haven't read the novel). I got really confused when the soldier was alive back in London. I thought, but you were about to die, in your condition you have a sliiiiiiiiiim chance of surviving, and it would be a better story if you died (no offence). Although, admittedly, I really wanted him to live and was happy to see him back in Londinium. Turns out they played a cunning trick on us. I shall say no more!!

Made me want to cry frequently. I managed to hold it together though

The French leader, NS, what a quality thing to do regarding the Chinese. I'm not very right wing, so didn't particularly want him to get into power. I still think his hard attitude is counter productive - but what do I know - however, he just went up a notch in my books for saying he'd boycott the Olympics because of the Tibet situation. That shows strength of character, or maybe just giving the people what he thinks they want, or maybe I'm too skeptical.

I was reading that China wants Chinese students to go to London to support the ambassador against Tibetan protesters. That's so weird. Just because they're from China, why would they automatically support the decisions of the Chinese leaders? Are they not free thinking? That's my problem with governments and authority. I just happened to be born in England (I'm not saying I'm not proud to be English, mind!), they just happened to be born in China and they just happened to be born in Tibet. I don't really see that as sufficient grounds to fight each other, or grounds to favour one political master just because he or she was born closer to me than the other.

If Scotland wants to f*ck off out of the union, then let them! Freedom!! All it would mean is that they'd have to pay for an extra level of bureaucracy and they'd lose out on UK tax money since more is spent on them per head than anywhere else in the UK. Right now they have one vote, when they have a "free" Scotland (Free in inverted commas as presumably the laws the follow will still be EXACTLY the same) they will still get one vote. I think their leaving the union would be a pointless decision on their part, but the same is true about what I said about NS, wtf do I know (or did I type that bit then delete it?)? If they want to do that, then let them. Personally, I couldn't give two hoots if my political masters sat in a parliament in London, Edinburgh, Cardiff or Belfast, it's just geographic, we’re all British and I'm very unlikely to listen to them anyway. So yes, If Scotland wants to be independent, I mean, if a majority of people native to Scotland want autonomy, then let them, I might be totally wrong, Alex Salmond might have a magic penis that will bring infinitely more joy to the people than I could ever imagine. If Tibet wants to be independent THEN F***ING LET THEM!! Same's true for all regions I think. Including Bristol. Bristolian Freedom movement 2008. Join the fun!! Let's resurrect the ancient kingdom of Wessex!! I am being a bit silly now. (Although I would say that Wessex's claim is just as valid as Scotland's)

Personally, I think we live in a fairly reasonable country, I feel quite lucky to be here and think we're better of together. Be funny if the UK devolved only just to become part of the new European nation a decade later, hehe.

Ah, well since I've got everything off my chest and probably managed to upset just about everyone, I think I'll have some luck getting off to sleep.

Now I'm all worried. I wasn't joking, if you live in a part of the UK and want to devolve, then really, I think that's cool, I just don't see what increase in quality of life it would give anyone. But as I've already said - what do I know about it: very little.

As for if you think China is behaving well in Tibet, then I respect your view, but from what I read in the media available, that doesn't seem the case.

Ok, now I seem like a wuss. All I'm trying to say is my blog is meant with the greatest of respect - they're just my opinions.

Good ni...err, morning!