Now I'm feeling pretty good.

It was always the plan to try and get better, but it seemed like a loooonnnnng dark tunnel. Ok things aren't 100% and are still fairly volatile, so I don't mean to count my chickens before they're hatched, but things are starting to look better and I just wanted to acknowledge that.

So I've had my first two days at my new job. Wow! It's so posh there!! So far my life's been more GTA than AGM, and I kind of thought that's how things were...but seriously, work is like the set for some futuristic movie. Seriously you should see what the gents are like...and computers with 2 screens. I have a desk and an email address and everything, and no one's threatened me with violence if I don't do my job properly, haha. They've even given me a pension. Again, I don't want to be premature here, it's only been two days, but so far so good.

OK, I'm not knocking my old jobs...they were exciting (and admittedly they did give me a lot more money than I make here), but I didn't have my own desk surrounded by pretty girls. I can work here from 9 to 5 and then just go home and relax...ahh...the quiet life

Right now I feel like a lucky guy!

Oh and I got my personal best for a 5k race last Tuesday, 21:37 and it was a really tough course too (lots of hills). Woo!

Ok, I'm going to go shower.

AND!!!...One more thing. Last night I went out and I had the self control to stick to soft drinks (all night) and say bye to everyone at 11pm. Since I drank a fair bit on Friday and stayed up until about 3:30, I thought it prudent to be sensible. I didn’t feel like it, but I’m glad I did

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Things with me are ok. I'm due to start my new tomorrow (hooray) although they were meant to get back to me when they received my acceptance and my references were cleared. I checked with the referencing company and it's all fine there but I couldn't get any answer from my HR lady. This morning I was concerned so I rang the main HR people who said they'd call me back. that was five hours ago. Hmm.

Ok they phoned me back!

Woo, everything's fine!!

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Hard Rock and beer, the life blood of BS16.

Ripple intensity = How hard we rock.

Another pint, anyone?

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Christmas is mint here.

I got offered the job btw

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I was going to cheer myself up by writing my I think I'm great, but I can't think of any right now! Now I'm even more depressed than I am when I started...ok here's one.

I was once one of the best people in the country at my sport (Tae Kwon Do), or in my category anyway. I was pretty good at boxing too.

Umm...

I went to when I used to work the other day and my manager gave me a hug and told me how much he missed me.

So that's two.

Ok - I once beat up the school bully! Although I don't really know if hitting someone makes me a great guy
(Although he did a lot less bullying from the on!)

Three down, two to go.

A friend of mine told me she loved me last night, and she's pretty great. So I guess that means I must be ok too

I always try to be kind to people and animals and the planet - I guess that's pretty good too.

I expected that I'd just be able to reel off five really nice things that I've done for people in my life - but now I feel that I haven't really done much. I always do little things, but then again, maybe that's enough?

Anyway, happy Monday, a brand new week - yay!!

Haha, I can't ever rememebr what the song is that I attached to this blog, I suppose it'll be a nice surprise when I look at it again!

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Bear with me.

(Some time elapses)

Hehe, ok, after about 20 mins of indecision I've decided to go for one I know everyone will love

I don't really know what to write about, today, but I haven't really posted much in awhile, so thought I would. You know how it is when I get going...

Ok, well I should start by mentioning the C.S. thing and what happened when I was reported. Firstly thanks to you guys for all of your moral support. I had a brief trade of emails with him which resulted in him "sincerely apologising", which was all I really wanted from the beginning, but there you go. So I said I'd take the post down voluntarily. Blog.co.uk said I could leave it up there, but just omit the name, which would kinda defeat the point of the post, but I'm happier now he's said sorry. I still don't agree with him or the sites he hosts, and think he's being pretty irresponsible, but what more can I do? I just hope this has maybe made him think a bit.

I'm in a bit of a bad mood today. I have been on and off for a few days now. I think last night got me down. I went to group feeling happy because I've had a good week and was looking forward to telling everyone. Unfortunately there's a lot of upset about at the moment and hearing the stories saddened and scared me. Before that I was a bit grumpy, although I'm not sure why. Events of the past year catching up on me probably. Also having no money gets you down. Not in a greedy way, but just in, I'm trapped!! Way. I have a job interview on Friday though, so wish me luck

IT feels like I go from one day to the next achieving absolutely nothing. This place is such a mess and I really need to tidy it. I should be doing that now rather than writing this, but as soon as I start I get all hot and bothered so usually end up throwing my clothes off, then the door bell goes and I run downstairs and it'll be a bloody salesman who doesn't understand no and I'll be standing there chatting to him/her in my pants then well...I don't know, just Gurrr!!! Right now I need someone to give me a cuddle and be really sympathetic, then I need to get a good nights sleep then I need to get up and have a free day so that I can get on, but unfortunately none of those things are possible.

Listen to me, I make myself sick with all of this moaning and complaining. Got time to write my blog but not to sort out my paperwork!! Loser!

Where was I, ah yes. Tonight I'm going running, but I'll see my dad there. Which is nice in one way, but I always feel awkward around him, then I'll get home and feel awkward around mum and mum will get upset because I'm being quiet. Then I won't be able to sleep, then tomorrow I have an appointment at about 9am, then I have to do work for the writing club, then at 6:30 I've got to drive a whole bunch of them down to Somerset, but I really can't afford the petrol, so I'll have to not go out this weekend...and, ah shut up.

And now I'm annoying myself even more because I'm just complaining and doing nothing about it. And what else really annoys me is I can't spell very well and this has no spell checker!!!

OMG I just wrote so much more and lost it all because it logged me out

I was saying how my generation of cousins in my family has lots of grandparents in already and I don't even have kids...that kind of thing. But I'm a little too something to type it all again. If it doesn't save it propperly this time the computer is going out the top floor window (with me holding onto it). Oh yeah, did anyone see that hidden cost of immigration thing - when they came to Liverpool, Brixton and Bristol, well that's about half a mile from me, yay! Telly! I thought they made it out to be much better than it actually was though saying it was all green and stuff, sure it is, but it's also one of the poorest estates in the city and then they made it out to be bad by saying about those foreigners being attacked, well that was pretty isolated incidents. I mean, that made the local news, people stabbing asylum seekers isn't like a daily thing. Although even once is pretty bad and once too many tbh!!

Anyway, I'm going to try and cheer up by smiling and eating chocolate then I MIGHT tidy up.

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Got out four weeks ago. Fresh air tastes so much better when you ain’t breathing it from behind bars. Over crowding, they said. Knocked a couple of months off my five-stretch. Result! Fed up of the fucking do-gooders. Coming in to chat to you about fucking personal problems. What the fuck do they know? Were they perved up as a kid? Did they grow up surrounded by fucking criminals and drug addicts? I needed the help then. Not to be locked away. Locked away with all of these junkie scum. Then the fucking wankers come in to ‘talk about my childhood’. Try talking about my fucking childhood before the sentence was passed. Try talking about my childhood when I was a kid. Bunch of fucking pricks.
Only two ways to drag yourself out of the mess of my past. Career criminal being my first choice. I failed at that spectacularly, just like I fuck up everything. Pissed away the best part of my twenties inside that fucking rotten hole.
Time to go for box number two. Drum roll if you please, maestro. Get an education.
Yeah, fuck me.
Education?
Yes I got a fucking education. It was easy as well. Just the clock the bars and the books this time round. Not like school. Not like spending every waking minute of every single miserable fucking day wondering what carnage I’d walk home to at half three. Oh no. Just the cell. Starched sheets and a first class view of the recreation yard.
I went for maths. Nice, simple, clean, unmolested numbers. One. Two. Three. Not like all that sociology and psychology bollocks they teach. Was it because your daddy hit you…or are you just a tosser?
So I’ve got a masters degree, no less.
Walk into a job on the out I thought. First class. I did a crime, but I done the time. Paid my debt. Now I want something fresh. Something clean. Something better.
Five weeks. Five fucking weeks and not even an interview. I’m stood outside the Job Centre now. It’s started to rain and I’m getting all wet. A lady bumps into me. I say sorry but she’s already gone. She didn’t even fucking see me. Turns out with my record they don’t want to touch me. My fucking record, wake up love, this is the naughties, it’s all mp3’s now. You don’t like MotorHead, I’ll put on a bit of Queen. Tits.
I was just a little boy. He came up to me. Fucking offered me a sweet. Yeah, stupid. He was even an old guy in a mac for fuck’s sake, but I was just a kid. That happened to me. I did bad, but not like that. I still wake up in cold sweats and they won’t even give me a chance.
Bastards.
Yeah, I held up a few bookies and done over Somerfield, but my mum just committed fucking suicide. Drugs, she loved them more than she ever loved me. When dad left escaping into chemical oblivion mattered more than me. It hurt me too.
What choice did I have? No money, no job, family gone or dead. It was the easy way. Fast money. Just this numb buzz in my head. I knew it was wrong. Like you know getting cut hurts, but you don’t feel it because of the pain killers.
I was just like mum. Looking for the easy way out.
Now, I’ve worked real hard. Got a degree. Gone straight. I even shave me face dead regular. But they don’t want me. I’m so stupid. I was actually surprised I couldn’t get a job. But why would that want me? No one has ever wanted me.
Bloke on the desk in the centre just told me there were vacancies at McDonald’s. Mc-FUCKING-Donald’s? I fucking have a fucking degree in fucking maths! Working out how much a big mac and fries costs isn’t exactly what I studied four years for.
People still pushing by. I’m invisible.
What they all don’t know though, is I have a gun. Yeah, no shit. They never found it after they nicked me. I stashed it in a tree down Vassel’s Park after my last job. It had a hole in the trunk so I just dropped it in there. It was still there, after all these years, wrapped in the oily rags in a little plastic box.
It’s in the inside pocket of my coat. I’m getting soaked though to the skin. It’s pissing it down. I pull it out.
Don’t really know why - it was getting wet anyway.
They fucking see me now! They all fucking see me! Do they see me, or the gun? Way I see, the gun is nothing without the man. They see me. They’re paying me attention. Just like the old days. But they’re all running away. Screaming.
“Look at me,” I’m screaming back at them. “Fucking look at me.”
I let a shot off into the air. Not intentional, like. I barely touched the fucking trigger. I didn’t even realise it was loaded, I didn’t stop to check. How many bullets were left in when I hid it – I don’t fucking know.
A woman jumps on top of a little boy, pushing him to the ground, she lays on top of him. They must be thirty yards in front of me, on the filthy pavement, getting soaked. Why would she do that? I’m not going to hurt a little boy. They think I’m some sort of a psycho.
Some filth grabs the kid from under her and runs off. The woman follows behind. She trips over her heals. I let out a long roar of laughter as she scrambles up to her feet.
I spin round to the job shop behind, arms out stretched. People are peering at me from behind the pillars and the tops of furniture. “I just wanted a fucking job,” I yell through the glass.
I turn back around and there’s this bloke. Bigger than me: taller and fatter. Takes me a few seconds to work out who he is.
Filth.
“Give me the gun, son,” is all he says. He’s holding out his palm and looking all tense. After five inside you know fear, and this guy is scared.
“Why?” I ask. “I ain’t done nothing wrong.”
“Give me the gun,” he’s repeating his words like I’m some sort of fucking retard. I have a fucking degree, you clit! “Just give me the gun, son, and we’ll talk about it.”
Talk? Fucking talk? He’s just one of them. One of fucking them. They took my fucking life away.
“Talk?” and I’m screaming at him. Really loudly, I know because my ears are ringing, but it don’t sound loud. “My name’s Mr. M. Goodwin, and I want a fucking job, not a fucking chat.”
“And I’m PC H. Jefferies. Now give me the gun, son.”
I’m just standing there. Thoughts whirling so fast round my head I don’t know what they are. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. Old Bill are everywhere. They’ve got guns. Bigger ones than mine. There’s some fucker with a loud hailer, but this prick is still standing in front of me. It’s like a fog lifting around my brain. I’m back in the real world. The rain fresh and cold on my skin. And there’s a gun in my hand. What the fuck. A fucking gun. I only came out for a job.
There’s this thing rising inside me. Tears start spewing out my eyes like I’m a fucking girl, and all I can think about is I hope this bloke can’t see me crying because it’s rainy and we’re wet anyway.
I don’t want to hurt anyone, so why the fuck do I have a gun? Lock me up. Throw away the fucking key. I’m fucked. I hold the gun out. I’m dropping it in his hands.
Next thing and he’s falling away from me. His eyes wide and full of terror. It went off. His body crumples at my feet. I think I just shit my pants.
Fire flashes through the grey of the rain and I’m falling down now. I land on the pavement. This metallic taste in my mouth. Jefferies’ dead eyes staring at me.
My vision fades to black.

I was feeling a bit restless last night so wrote that. It was pretty free flowing and I got it done in about an hour. There's a few of us submitting this Thursday, so we're sending of sub 2000 word pieces for critisism among the other members. I was thinking of sending this out (since the other story, which I'm yet to rewrite is a bit too long - and I haven't had time for a crack at the second version yet!) with the possibility of turning it into a longer story. I'd be interested to know what anyone else thinks!

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I can't think why on earth anyone would think I was that was inclined.

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Sorry about that. My blog isn't meant to be anything to do with that sort of thing. Maybe I should start a seperate one for when I feel like a bit of a groan.

I'm playing football today for the first time in ages! I'm a bit nervous becasue the guys I'm playing against are alright players.

Wow! I just totally tripped out. I sneezed and then it looked like there were all these wriggling streaks crawling along the walls, but it lasted for about ten seconds, which is worrying. Even more worrying, I actually thought it was something real until they faded away. Maybe they were!!

Ah safe, I just got a call from PC. He wants me to go round his before football. He's just buying a new pair of boots - and there I'll be in my trainers. If anyone stands on my feet I'll be hopping around. Last time I played, which was about 9 months ago I got winded, hit and stamped on within about a minute. Haha, I wasn't in such good shape after that. I took my trainers off and I was bleeding a bit, but not eouugh to merit my stop playing. I really need to get a pair of boots for times like these, but can't really afford them right now. Well, I could, but I really really need to watch what I spend atm.

I'd better get going

Have a lovely Sunday!

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You really need to crank the volume up on that song, I think. Anyway, I posted it because I think they are singing about me.

So there's a bunch of stuff I want to say but they pop in and out of my mind, fleeting and elusive like the British sunshine. I'll just have to hope they come to me as I type.

Ok, so today I was walking the dog and thinking about what I posted about missing human intimacy (I mean in a non erotic way - seriously) and was getting a bit nostalgic about the ex. Then I read (and I'm sure she won't mind me saying) Flojo's post, which got me thinking again. I had some big problems with her [the ex not Flojo!]. She's a nice enough girl, but significantly less than a year after us splitting up she's moved in with another man. That really tells me a lot about her. See, I like to get to know someone before making that sort of commitment...she's what's I'd call clingy. Maybe she'd say I was slow or detached or something - I don't know, but I suppose that highlights our incompatibility.

So in 9 months she's:

1) Got over me.

2) Found a boyfriend.

3) Moved in with him.

She is VERY fit though - although she was, err, expanding. So I knew boys would be interested. Looks like someone jumped in my seat before it even got cold, eh?

Anyway, right now I see a relationship for me as an impossibility. I'm rather too poor to be able to afford a girl and I'm somewhat damaged goods on the old emotional front (with recent traumas). I haven't had the easiest of lives - but then again who does? On the whole my life's been happy. But the last 12 months [insert long and depressing list here]. Yikes! And to be honest I'm sh*tting myself about what's going to happen next.

I met a girl in January actually, she was pretty nice. I told her right away that I'd just like to be friends - I didn't want a relationship right now. She still seduced me big time. We didn't have sex or anything, I'm not that kind of a guy . And she was getting really keen, so I told her again, I'm really not ready, not now, and probably not for awhile. she was very stroppy with me about that.

She's: "You just used me like all the rest!!"

Lol, I'm: "wtf?"

She's: "Well it's not like you had sex with me, and you could have if you wanted."

I'm: "And your point?"

She's: "You're not like all the rest."

I'm: "Ok, so are friends?"

She's: "Yes."

Crisis averted - whatever that was about. Now she's away as we speak, on holiday with her new bf. Jeeezzz...girls are so shallow and cold blooded. They're like, bam, bam, bam!! I don't begrudge her, of course, but since that convo we had (at the beginning of Feb) she kinda got back together with her ex, split up again, met this other guy and has gone off with him. They're like whirlwinds. No chance of the grass growing under her feet.

I like to take things a bit slower. Show a bit of respect, know what I mean?

I watched Atonement, what a brilliant film (I haven't read the novel). I got really confused when the soldier was alive back in London. I thought, but you were about to die, in your condition you have a sliiiiiiiiiim chance of surviving, and it would be a better story if you died (no offence). Although, admittedly, I really wanted him to live and was happy to see him back in Londinium. Turns out they played a cunning trick on us. I shall say no more!!

Made me want to cry frequently. I managed to hold it together though

The French leader, NS, what a quality thing to do regarding the Chinese. I'm not very right wing, so didn't particularly want him to get into power. I still think his hard attitude is counter productive - but what do I know - however, he just went up a notch in my books for saying he'd boycott the Olympics because of the Tibet situation. That shows strength of character, or maybe just giving the people what he thinks they want, or maybe I'm too skeptical.

I was reading that China wants Chinese students to go to London to support the ambassador against Tibetan protesters. That's so weird. Just because they're from China, why would they automatically support the decisions of the Chinese leaders? Are they not free thinking? That's my problem with governments and authority. I just happened to be born in England (I'm not saying I'm not proud to be English, mind!), they just happened to be born in China and they just happened to be born in Tibet. I don't really see that as sufficient grounds to fight each other, or grounds to favour one political master just because he or she was born closer to me than the other.

If Scotland wants to f*ck off out of the union, then let them! Freedom!! All it would mean is that they'd have to pay for an extra level of bureaucracy and they'd lose out on UK tax money since more is spent on them per head than anywhere else in the UK. Right now they have one vote, when they have a "free" Scotland (Free in inverted commas as presumably the laws the follow will still be EXACTLY the same) they will still get one vote. I think their leaving the union would be a pointless decision on their part, but the same is true about what I said about NS, wtf do I know (or did I type that bit then delete it?)? If they want to do that, then let them. Personally, I couldn't give two hoots if my political masters sat in a parliament in London, Edinburgh, Cardiff or Belfast, it's just geographic, we’re all British and I'm very unlikely to listen to them anyway. So yes, If Scotland wants to be independent, I mean, if a majority of people native to Scotland want autonomy, then let them, I might be totally wrong, Alex Salmond might have a magic penis that will bring infinitely more joy to the people than I could ever imagine. If Tibet wants to be independent THEN F***ING LET THEM!! Same's true for all regions I think. Including Bristol. Bristolian Freedom movement 2008. Join the fun!! Let's resurrect the ancient kingdom of Wessex!! I am being a bit silly now. (Although I would say that Wessex's claim is just as valid as Scotland's)

Personally, I think we live in a fairly reasonable country, I feel quite lucky to be here and think we're better of together. Be funny if the UK devolved only just to become part of the new European nation a decade later, hehe.

Ah, well since I've got everything off my chest and probably managed to upset just about everyone, I think I'll have some luck getting off to sleep.

Now I'm all worried. I wasn't joking, if you live in a part of the UK and want to devolve, then really, I think that's cool, I just don't see what increase in quality of life it would give anyone. But as I've already said - what do I know about it: very little.

As for if you think China is behaving well in Tibet, then I respect your view, but from what I read in the media available, that doesn't seem the case.

Ok, now I seem like a wuss. All I'm trying to say is my blog is meant with the greatest of respect - they're just my opinions.

Good ni...err, morning!

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My feedback on the story went well. I got a fair few tips. So I'll try and write that over the next few days as I know some of you would like to read it Actually I have to chance to submit again this week, so I may well rewrite it, then hand it in again to make it the best story EVER.

Anyway, are you fond of sand dunes and salty air, quaint little villages here and there?

I need that!

I was chatting to a girl I know last night. We were both saying how sad it is that neither of us get to touch other people. Since being single, it's like, no hugs, no holing hands, no kisses. I must go for weeks without even the feel of someone else’s skin. Her ex has been really horrible to her, both in the way they split up and what he's doing now. She asked me to, "kick his ass."

And there was a revelation. Well, it was news to me. I've known her for 10 years, right? Since I was 14. She says that she's met some men from the internet. I said that I rather meet people in person and then get their number, etc. She said that found it hard to meet people, although there were some people at worked she like, but they were women.

So I'm: "Haha, yeah, women. Too bad they're girls!"

She's: "Yeah, my gaydar's not great."

I'm thinking: "Ok this joke is going a little far now".

She's: "So although I'm bi, I just usually go out with guys."

I'm thinking: "Ok, really not following the joke now, sounds like the kind of thing a, err, bisexual person would say."

Anyway, as you've guessed, she's bi. I mean...c'mon! WTF was that all about?

We're just having a friendly chat and she does that to me. What am I meant to say, "oh, sorry to hear that!"

It's not big deal, but I had no idea. I suppose she's never had any need to tell me, but I was a bit shocked. I tried not to act it though. So was all: "Ok, lovely weather we're having recently."

I suppose last time anyone told me anything like that, they made a really big deal out of it, sitting me down, etc. When you're introduced to someone as gay then that's fine, but when you find out someone you previously thought was, isn't, it's strange. "oh, can I watch next time?"

Especially since she's 25 and I'm 24. All the people I knew as straight that turned out to be gay told me when we were about 15 or 16.

Struth!

I find bisexuality hard to fathom. I'd always wonder if I'd be enough for them. I suppose because once I was going out with a girl and she told me she was bisexual. I was ok with that, but then she said she wanted to do things with girls. What a bitch! I wasn't doing things with other girls, because we were together, so why should she expect me to think that's ok?! It's disloyalty regardless of who it's with, as I see it. So that was over pretty quickly. I suppose not all bisexuals are like that? I'm a monogamous person.

Ok. I don't mean to make a big deal out of what she told me, because why should it matter, answer is, it doesn't matter at all I was just a little surprised to hear it.

I'd better go do some productive things now.

Have a fabulous Friday friends!

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Truth is, I'm usually very cheerful, I suppose on here I just get to expel all of the bad stuff. But that sucks! Because that's not the real me

A GOOSE MATES WITH AN ELEPHANT, VALENTINES DAY 2008.

Yeah, that's a pretty good video. Superb camera work. There was writing where the screen is just blank, but that broke. Too bad, eh?

It's a nice day out today and I'm listening to the Pet Shop Boys. Now I just need to decide what to have to eat, hmm.

Yesterday I had my counselling then went to my running club, but I was quite early, so decided to go for a warm up. Three miles later I arrive back at the club, haha. We then did a twenty minutes out run, then see how fast you can get back. You know what I mean?

(To explain to anyone who does follow: You run in one direction for twenty minutes and see how far you can get then after twenty minutes you turn around and see how fast you can back: ideally under twenty minutes! So you're jogging for about 40 minutes altogether, depending how fast you got back.)

Later today I'm going to see some people about a job then I've got writing group. I'm having a short story I wrote appraised tonight, so when I get feedback, I shall edit it, and if I'm happy with it, I might even post it on here

Anyhow, better dash!

My love to you all.

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Has it benefited my life - I don't know, but I doubt it. (If I get another job that'll be cool, but it took me like 2 mins to write to them)

Right now I'm listening to Blondie. Pretty good music and Debbie Harry is quite sexy, even if the videos were all made 5 years before I was born! I actually had a dream the other day that "Atomic" was playing all around me and I was lying on this big red bed and everything was good with the world.

Now I've been reading about mass extinction events. Since they all seem to be caused by climatic change (apart from the 65 million years ago one), most scientists in that game say we're on the verge of a new one. Mass extinction. 50% of life gone. I don't know what to think of that. Obviously it'll be quite sad, and I'm thinking, do I want to live through that? It'll be a time of great turmoil and violence, I think, and it'll probably happen bam-smack in the middle of my lifetime. I keep writing letters asking for pollution to be cut before it's too late, but they don't really seem to take much notice of me Maybe I'll catch myself of fire or something and see if they listen then. I'm not that selfless/selfish though. I might if I had no friends or family, but then again, I probably wouldn't.

Anyway, tomorrow will take care of tomorrow, for now, I'll keep focused on today. I might write a story about it. Lol, actually, I was watching a zombie film the other day, and though it would be cool if it happened because at least then I wouldn't have to worry about global warming, haha. I have a feeling whatever happens I'll survive...or die trying, haha.

Unfortunately my attitude of impending doom gives me a slightly deviant streak, since if it does all go tits up, who cares about criminal records or what job your used to have shuffling paper? I've never really respected the law anyway. I don't mean to say I'm criminally minded, I'm not. But when did I ever sign a contract saying I'd obey a law someone else wrote? I was born free. If I want to walk round naked, why should I be arrested for that? Most big business is legalised crime anyway through exploitation of the poor, so - so what if I steal from them? It's just what they're doing to humanity each time they buy from another sweatshop. It's all about profit, which in a way is very empowering. For example all of these ethical drives - do you really thing that's because the board of directors suddenly got choked up with conscience, or do you think they will sell more if they are seen to be being responsible in the way they operate? To this ends you can write to places telling them you will only give them business if they cease using their immoral ways. Get enough people to do this with you and in the name of profit, they will trade fairly in a non environmentally destructive way. Simple economics. Oh the joys of capitalism

Wow, I'm a radical.

Now I just need some disciples.

Care to join me on a quest for a better future?

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And the video below pretty much sums up why I don't like a lot of the militairy action going on these days:

Thanks to notbob!!

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Need to get these thoughts out:

My ex, she'd spend what must have been a a good hour a day chosing her clothes and putting her makeup on, etc. She did all of this to look nice, but then she'd fret about being fat. Why not just spend that time exercising instead and eat less junk? I really didn't get it. She'd moan to me about being fat. So then I'd offer to help her exercise and draw up a healthier diet, she never took me up on it Eventually she complained less and less. I mean, I could have just said, "don't be silly, you're fine how you are." But the truth is, she probably could have done with losing a couple of pounds, not a lot, but a little, and she identified it as being a problem, I was trying to be supportive, I loved her regardless. Anyway, she wasn't fat (which I told her) but she had put on weight from when I'd first started going out with her.

This is on my mind becasue I'm friends with a couple of girls who are, to be blunt, obese. I mean, I think their health is at risk, or will be in the long term, becasue of the weight they're carrying round with them. But their boyfriends...just normal size guys (and don't seem to be encouraging their other halves to loose weight, lol)! And I'm thinking it's a bit of a mismatch. I wouldn't go out with someone who was fat, chubby, maybe, fat no. I'll tell you why, before you think I'm being very shallow:

I like being outdoors, I like sports I like long walks, I like healthy food (well most of the time!) and I like someone whose lifestyle doens't neccicairily mirror mine, but we at least have some mutual interests, we can sit down and eat the same foods, we can walk at the same pace and all of that. As for physically disabled - if someone's disabled, that's not their fault they might not be able to do all of the stuff I've just said, but I wouldn't mind becasue they have no choice over the matter so if I love them, then I love them But as for being obese, that's more a lifestyle choise. I hear people say how difficult it is these days, but c'mon, it's very easy, just eat less and take a little time out to be physically active, it really isn't difficult if that's how you want to be.

I used to be a bit chubby, but that was becasue I spent most of the day eating cakes at work. Then I decided not to be chubby so I ate less and did more exercise. I know it's not that easy for everyone, but if you really want it then it's not that hard.

Having said all of that, I hope you realise I'm not having a go at the overweight among us. I relly have nothing against the larger members of our society, as mentioned, I'm good friends with a few and love a few more, all I'm saying is that when chosing a potential partner I tend to go for fitter people - but that's cool, right?

I don't really know what I'm ranting away over this, I just suppose when you see fit, sporty guys with fat girls I kinda think, "that's weird!" Of course, I'd never say the to them, I guess they just fell in love, but I always suspect they have a fetish or something, hehe.

I always feel really bad when I talk about these things. I mean, there's such a big deal made about all of this these days. I say people should be able to do what they like. I think it's horrible the way people are pressured into thinking a certain way. So what I say things like this, I don't want it to seem like I'm being some sort of fitness Hitler, becasue I'm not, I just don't see what the big deal is. We all what the detrimental effects are of being overweight, so what's the big deal, we make an informed choice.

OK OK OK, getting political now. I never intended too. I don't really have an oppinion on it, all I'm saying is I think it's often important for me to be with someone who enjoys a similar lifestyle and fitness, at least in terms of not being unfit, would be preferable I'm no superman myself!

The most important thing is love and happiness, peace, peace, peace!!!

On an unrelated note:

I sent an April fool's text out this morning to three friends. I made this text up telling them to turn on then news becasue Japan had just made contact with extra terrestrials and that life may never be the same again.

LOL...one girl text me back all, "Oh, that's really good! I'll watch the news when I get home. We were talking about aliens yesterday!" (riiiiigggghhhht, I'm thinking. Probaly not the sharpest knife in the drawer! It took her until about 6pm to text me again asking if it was an April fools joke)

The othe girl I text didn't get back to me, but I got a phone call from the guy about an hour later. He said he'd been checking out the BBC website, excitedly, but couldn't find anything on there, then realised it was a joke, so just wanted to let me know that I got him.

So that was cool.

Also I was driving to my meeting tonight when I was driving by the patch of land I throw my dog's ball on to see an ambulance and police car parked up, lights on, etc. The police were holiding a few of the locals. I guess that means there's been another stabbing or something. I think I'll have to start taking my AK47 out on walks with me I keep hearing talk of this stuff...it started when I had the confrontation with that white guy who sounded half Pakistani half Jamaican. I mean I was aware something was awry then, as why would anyone from round here either have a pop at me just for looking at them or be speaking like wanker. A few things have gone on since to make me suspicious, which I won't go into. When you enter my area, you'll know where you are; the post code is sprayed all about the place! Anyway, I think there's a little war going on between some hoods round here and some from elsewhere (who speak funny). Maybe it's just my imagination working overtime, I might write a good story about it!

They're all kids anyway, I find it really hard to take it seriously. I know people have been getting hurt, but I look at them and just see school boys trying to be gangsters. What do these guys actually fight over? I don't think they fight over anything, just idiots.

Someone who added me as a friend on facebook (who I don't think I actually know other than going to the same school as her) just changed her status from being single to being in an open relationship, or so my news feed tell me. What does that mean? Basically that she's some sort of self confessed sexual devient right?

Woo, it's past midnight. You know I started writing this at 10pm, but keep getting interupted, so sorry if it's a bit incoherent. Unfortunatly I'm too tired to read through it or spell check it, which is a shame, since I can see about three spelling mistakes already, but don't know how to spell the words properly

Nevermind.

Anyway, whoever you are, I love you

Good night

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Anyway, I know I said I was going - but this is the thing. I just got rang by my phone company and I renewed my contract. I want to know if you guys think this is a good deal.

I moaned to them that it was too expensive (I currently pay about £40 a month) and what they agreed on was this:

£12.50 a month for 200 texts and 200 anytime, cross network minutes.

That's actually £25 a month, but I get the rest cash back after 6, 12 and 18 months (or something).

So: £12.50 a month for 200 texts and 200 anytime, cross network minutes.

*I don't get a new phone though.*

It's the 18 months thing I don't like, who knows what my situation will be in autumn 2009?!

Apparently I can change between contracts (with the same company) after 9 months - although it'll mess with my cash back.

Anyway, what do ya'll think?

You Are Wintergreen Flavored Gum

You are laid back, low maintenance, and super cool.

You go with the flow, and you never cause too much of a fuss.
You are very in touch with nature and the world around you.

You prefer to keep things simple. You are super sexy and the girls love you. Complexity stresses you out.
You are a very real person. You are a God among men. Openness and honesty are important to you.

You can be friends with almost anyone, as long as they tell it like it is.

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So as most of you know I went away this weekend. Friday night we just checked the town out, and managed to bypass most of the kind of places we were looking for, shame. Although I did get to chat to two German girls, a northerner and haha...just laughing thinking about it:

It's hard to describe well, but we were in a pub at about half ten. It's one of these places where you walk in through the door, your in a little porch, you then turn left and push the door to the bar open. Anyway we went in, were having a nice quiet drink when this guy comes in from outside. He pushes against a wall of the porch, pushes against the wall again, gets really frustrated and pushes on it one more time, then walks out (I think he mistook the wall for the door). It was really funny. I had the most extreme reaction, with instant laughter (that lasted about half an hour), and Sprout looks at PC and says, "Did that just really happen?" Then they spent most of the rest of the next few minutes laughing about it too...ah, happy times!

The football was, well, wet. I got my interview on Radio Bristol though, woo. Most of the action happened on the terrace. It was uncovered and standing. The rain was lashing down horizontally into our faces, pretty much all match.

And the police. Don't get me started (although I fear I already have). Just standing their with their video camera pointing it at me for about half an hour (Well probably not specifically me, but me and the group around me). That's pretty annoying. Most people just resorted to singing "We are the old Bill haters." and shouting "paedophile!" at the camera man. I just ignored them. No point in letting them provoke a reaction out of you. Last time we were there Sponge got arrested before the game even started, lol.

Then Sprout is getting really pissed off with what the people behind were shouting (Atkins back, stop the rot.) and told them to be quiet. They started dissing him. He was just getting more and more wound up, but trying not to react. Then this guy - who's friends with Sprout - says, "Just ignore them Sprout," etc. Anyway, red rag to a bull, they're chanting, just ignore them Sprout back at him. So he goes up to have a word, and then walks away, but they follow him...uh oh! Next thing I know Sprout has one by the collar, fist back, shaking him, and saying some quite angry things. So we all dive in, interrupting me from the bloody text I was writing! And luckily we manage to diffuse the situation in a matter of seconds. Police weren't around to help then!

Shame all that trouble happened, but it was all ok.

I used to work at the home ground, and would stay for all the games. Made me realise how much I miss it. They were bleak days - Rovers got relegated the season after I left. Which brings me on to say, that apparently Bristol is the biggest city in EUROPE not to have a top flight football team. That won't be the case next year if City get promoted, but if they do they're coming straight back down!! (I hope)

Then on the way out...we're all being forced through one tiny gate. All fifteen hundred of us. I know it was pouring with rain, but what a fire hazard. What would have happened if there had been a terrorist attack or something. It was stupid. I'm not blaming Yeovil, the police were doing it. We asked why they didn't open the other gate too - since the whole area was totally surrounded by them anyway - and they didn't answer, just grinned stupidly.

Then we got on the bus to the station - only it took us to the wrong station, lol. Met some Yeovil supporters on the bus stop, they were all sound as a pound. Eventually got to the right station and got on the right train.

Went back to Weymouth, had a curry. I had a vegetable one. I'm kinda going semi vegetarian these days. I always feel really bad about animals being killed. Then we went to a club. Spoke to a few girls, one asked me to dance. I was very surprised they even wanted to speak to me, since I was wearing what I'd be wearing all day, drenched, messy hair, etc. So I danced a bit, but wasn't too comfy. I'm still trying to get over the, "haha, you can't dance," comment made by Hannah! I think I need to take dance lessons or something

So that's been my weekend. A good time had by one and all!

Anyway, I'd better get something to eat, then go swimming.

Oh yeah, just one last thing.

When I left of Friday...by the way I have coffee and biscuits next to me now...my ex's mum was round having coffee with my mum. How weird was that. Last time I saw her she was like future mother in law. She's alright though. Works as a receptionist down the police station. Once me and the ex (before she was an ex) went away for a week when it was her birthday. Anyway, she wanted out families there on her birthday to celebrate. So I ask my mum and dad and they come, and she asks her mum, but feels sorry for her mum because she's single. Don't really get it, but there you go. And tells her to bring a boyfriend along. So she's asks this copper. *Shit!! Hide EVERYTHING* lol...only kidding. SO he comes with us too - paid for by me I might add, the missus didn't even consult me, grr. But he was a pretty sound guy, he did taro reading and worked part time in a crystals shop. That seemed really strange to me, a taro reading, crystal healing policeman, but there you go! I wonder if he used to dowse for criminals?

Anyway, better run!

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Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity.

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'

8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Wa ter whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Driv e-through Order Is 'To Go.'

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You’re Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

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First I must change the music. Ahh, Tropicalia! That's better. So I wanted to say something following on from yesterday's post...

Ok, so you know I said about my cousin. Well just so you all know, he is innocent. All that happend was he threatened to kill this person a few days before the attempt on his life and was known to have a grudge against him. But that's all. It was poisoning as well...very la de da! All we need now is a little continental detective with a bowler hat and a well groomed moustache.

Ok, I'm fed up with this music now...

Wow, my mind's just gone so blank! Nothing new there. Think I took a few too many punches from my boxing days

I'm being picked up tonight by sprout. I'm not sure how I feel about this weekend. It'll be me PC and Sprout, three more different people you could not find.

PC's quite serious and talks about work a lot. I like him, don't get me wrong, but he seems to be prone to sudden changes in mood from normal to quite grumpy.

Then there's Sprout. Haha, like last week we were in the pub and there's this guy there. Last time Sprout saw him he was all, "If I wasn't on bail for armed robbery, I'd be really angry with you!" lol, excuses! Luckily it was all long forgotten.

Note of explination: Again, another innocent man arrested. Sprout didn't actually do anything wrong and was cleared of all charges, it was a big missunderstanding. That's what I don't like though, they keep him on bail for about 5 months, constantly putting his hearing (or whatever it is) back - like the day before he's due to go in, so he's got that looming over him. Especially since it happend at the beginning of winter, so they kept his winter coat for forensic testing for all that time and only just gave it back when the weather started to get warmer. They didn't even say sorry!!

And they wonder why sometimes we don't like the police too much.

Ok calm down. I want to write a nice blog :-D

I went out with a girlfriend of mine the other day and she said that she could see me as a Buddhist monk. Apparently becasue I'm nice to everyone and kind to animals it would suit me. I think I'm more of a mug than a monk!

I was chatting to John P about benifits. I told him that I went to the job centre and there were fat people there. Obviously if they can afford to be fat they're getting too many benifits. Or that's the way I saw it.

He was saying that he went to the supermarket and was going to pay by card, but saw a guy selling the Issue outside so paid with a tenner to get some change so he could buy one, but when he got outside this guy was smoking. He thought if this dude is spending a fiver and some (or whatever) a day on fags then why should he fund the habbit, so took his business elsewhere. I thought that was a little harsh, but then again so was my comment about chubby job seekers, I guess.

I try to buy the Big Issue when I can. What I usually do, rather than giving beggars money, is I'll by a coffee or something like that and give it to them. At least that way I know it's not going on drugs - you know? So any change I have I'll put in the charity boxes to help the destitute, rather than give directly. Anyway, it's now good afternoon!

I'd better grab a bite to eat then get on with more work.

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Lol, got to love him.

Anyway, the sun's shining (kinda) and the weather's getting better. I'm feeling quite happy! Still no luck with the jobs. I cancelled that interview I had on Friday.

I applied for a few more. Pay's so bad! I mean, I've given up all hope of ever owning a property, which used to be my goal in life, so that's a bit dissapointing. My writing really does seem to be going to pot too (boohoo). I just can't seem to concentrate anymore. Just getting through the day is such a struggle. I've decided to see the doctor (about how to be more energetic) - who apparently was very complimentairy about me

Yes it's true. Apparently my mum went to see the Dr. yesterday and he said, "Before we start I want to say what an amazing guy Dan is." Or something to that effect. That was nice of him made me smile when I heard. He knows everything that's happend and has seen me keep it together - although it doesn't feel like that on the inside sometimes.

Sorry, I don't mean to sound lazy. I usually work very hard, but everything just feels such a struggle these days. I keep thinking, give it a week and I'll be ok, but the weeks roll on and well...here I am again. I'm convinced that it's me. I think maybe I've developed some sort of lethargy and I just need to buckle down. I'll try doing that.

But...

YES YES YES!!

I'm going away this weekend. That'll be good.

And my car insurance just wrote me a second letter asking me to prove that I have no claims bonus. I already rang about 2 weeks ago and told the man about it and he said that was fine. It's worrying though. I don't want to be driving around without propper insurance I might give them another ring.

Anyway, all this talk of trying harder. Guess I'd better put it into action. (I'll start with a cup of coffee, a tidy up and Bob Marley.)

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2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
Arthur Ronald (yeah, that's cool )

3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of
your first name)
Couda

4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Purple Magpie

5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
John Bristol

6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Blue Water

7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 3 letters of your last name)
Dains (actually, that is quite fly)

8. GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Vanilla Chocolate

9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pets name, current street name).
Ben Oakdale

10. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Sexy Dan

11. PORN NAME: (1st pets name, mothers maiden name)
Chloe ... maiden name, hmm, you trying to hack my bank account?

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That's pretty sound advice.

But once again I'm going to violate it.

Well, kinda.

The other day I saw an advert for joining the army. It was BLATENT propaganda! It's this African lady saying how much the army helped her by digging a well. You want to do that, go join the Peace corps!! Why not interview a few Iraqis or Afghans? I'm not saying the army don't do good things too, but come on, are you telling me the army is a front for some sort of a missionary organisation? Is that what the guns are for? Hunting for food, is it? And are Africans now so poor they don't even have shovels to dig their own wells. All seems a bit dubious to me.

Like my friend was crying because her friend was joining the army. "Chill out," I say. "What's the worst that can happen.....oh yeah, err sorry."

Lol.

Sorry!

Peace!

P.S. IF you don't like what I've said, not just here, but anywhere, please don't hold it against me, just tell me about it and I may well change my mind and say sorry. I never mean to offend.

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A wise man once told me that life is only 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it.

Deal with it, perceive it, whatever - it's very true.

Now "suicide is painless" has just started playing on my MP3, greeeaaaaat. Don't tempt me!

Ok, so I've been feeling troubled this afternoon. Namely because the police want to get in touch with my dad so they've come here. So my mum has had to let my dad know, and speaking to him really isn't good for her as she gets really upset, and you know what happens when she gets upset.

I wanted to see my dad this weekend, but he isn't sure if he'll be in Bristol anymore, and argh...oh for a quiet life.

It got me thinking about what sort of a job I'd like to apply for (as for now the writing isn't sustainable, at least in a full time capacity) and I'd love to work for the civil service. I just don't know how to apply though! I haven't seen any vacancies on the job sits or the jobcentre and I've been looking for yonks. I guess I'd like to do it because it's a steady employment with some nice benefits.

I was thinking about it when I was walking my dog and thought of my last job. Haha, that was fun. I was just driving round all day, they gave me sat nav, woo! I remember the last thing I ever had to do was collect money for someone who was meant to be very awkward, so I was told to prepare to be persuasive

Anyway, I turn up at this Moroccan Restaurant at about 6pm - it looked like a pretty nice place. So I walk into the back and say, "I believe you have something for me."

Haha, I was so worried about them not paying up, I'd forgot to introduce myself. They just handed me a cheque straight away though, in fact they had it waiting. That was cool...nice guys I think, even if they gave my boss a hard time. It was something like fifteen grand. Wow! Made sure I didn't lose that. Makes me feel like I was getting the rough end of the deal the amount I was being paid, but I guess that's the cry of the working man everywhere.

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This story happened some years after the old "f*ing w*er and the geography teacher" incident.

There was this guy I was good friends with at school - in fact he was probably one of my closest friends. Anyway, I always thought he was a bit camp, so sometimes when we'd had a drink (and as such my tongue was looser) I'd ask, "Are you gay?" I never elaborated and called him camp or girly, becasue I didn't want to upset him.

He always said, "No."

Anyway I suppose I'd asked him three or four times in the previous months, we were drunk again and I thought I'd ask him just one more time, becasue I thought he was lying to me. At the time me Luke and Chris (Chris was the campish one, I say campish as no one else thought he was a homo) were in Bristol city centre by the shops, it was the middle of the night and no one else was about. We were there becasue we were wating for a bus. So I asked him again, and Luke's all, "if the answer's yes, if you are gay, Chris, I'll effing kill you." and all of this. Anyway, Chris said no!

So several weeks later I'd forgotten all about this.

(sorry I'm not doing a very good job at telling this story!)

Anyway, yes, several weeks later! I was chatting to Chris and we were walking across the playground to the 6th form block. It was the end of break and the bell had just rang. Then Chris started saying he needed to talk to me. I said go ahead, but he wanted to talk inside. So we went to the 6th form block and I asked him to tell me. But, no! He insisted on total privacy. But the second bell had just rang and I'm all tell me later, Chris. But no, he wanted to tell me now. TELL ME LATER CHRIS, I'LL BE LATE!!! He didn't listen to me and practically dragged me into an empty class room. I'm just stood there and he's pacing up and down and has gone all pale. He's saying "you know what you asked me, well the answer's yes". What is this guy on about? What did I ask him? So I ask him what I mean, and he just keeps saying that over and over.

Then it clicked.

I was so shocked. I probably wouldn't have been shocked, but that fact that I'd asked him - several times - and he had said no each time. So I asked him why he didn't just tell me when I asked, and he said that he was nervous, but wanted to tell me on the most recent occasion, however, was scared of Luke.

So I said that it was cool that he was a homosexual now. He said that no one else knew (appart from all his gay friends (like wtf? secret double life or what)), so could I not tell anyone. I agreed to keep it secret then went to my lesson. I sent him a text from the class room a few minutes later, reitterating that he did the right thing by telling me, and it was in confidence.

A few months later it came out that he was a gay. He didn't really get a lot of trouble over it. People used to use innuendo (sometimes not subtuly at all) when he was around, but I don't think this was homophobic, it was just people taking the piss out of each other, just like you'd do over anything. The kids in the years below didn't like it very much though, but who cares? Chris actually had a boyfriend who was in year 10 at school, so - well - yeah!

Anyhow this is now Chapter 2!

I wanted to see these heavy metal bands play and asked Chris if he'd go with me. He came along (metal wsn't really his thing) with the condition that I'd go somewhere he wanted to go in a few weeks. Sounded fair. The music was pretty good, although it wasn't exactly a sell out. When the band started playing there were more band member than people in the audience (seriously). It did pick up a bit more later on though.

So Chris askes me to go out two weeks later. To a gay club. With him and his boyfriend. Come on guys! 2's company 3's a croud! I'm not even gay! I had to go long anyway. It was pretty fun! Although I do find some lesbians quite scary. However, it's about the only place I've ever been to when you chat to strangers and they buy you drinks. This gay racket is alright!

But this is the classic bit. When I was there, I saw a teacher of mine (a biology teacher who's female.) She saw me too. I already knew she was probably a lesbian by how she was.

This would be the third chapter.

At school some people used to call me Big Gay Dan. I'll clarify the matter by saying, despite having been to a gay club and being called gay, I'm not gay. I'm straight. They used to call me big gay Dan becasue I was bigger than most, I was usually happy, I was nice to everyone, I never got angry, and my name's Dan. So people who often add, "who's not actually gay." on the end, if anyone who didn't know me was about. It was a right mouthfull "hey, big gay Dan, who's not actually gay, how are you?" Just call me Dan ffs!

One day I was in biology with my friend Sam, aka little bitch. I used to call him little bitch, since he called me big gay Dan. I was quite close to Sam, we walked in and home together, and the name big gay Dan, wasn't meant to be nasty at all, well it was designed to wind me up a little, but that's the kinda thing you do to your mates when 17, right.

So we were on opposite sides of the room and Sam called out, "Hey, big gay Dan, ..." and we we started chatting. BUT, the teacher heard this. She just so happend to be that very same teacher I'd seen in the gay club.

"Sam, outside, NOW!" hahahaha. She took him outside and gave him such a talking to. She actually though that I was gay, and thought that Sam was taking the piss. Of course, being a lesbian, she was quite zealous about enforcing antihomophobic rule. She said to Sam, "You shouldn't use Dan's sexuality against him," and things like that. After about ten minutes of being dressed down by her he came back into the classroom and told me all about it. I don't think we stopped laughing for about a week.

But I was quite touched she stuck up for me like that, even though I'm not gay.

THE END...

Notes:

Sorry this story has been so crudly put together, I don't really have time to edit it for maximum impact, but I hope you followed it. This is a true story from when I was in 6th form. Also I'm not going to spell check it as I'm in a bit of a rush now, so sorry about that too.

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Anyway,I can hear birds singing and I'm happy!

I went to my support place last night, it was pretty cool. The council own two houses, both about ten mins away from where I live (but in different directions) to help addicts and their families. I usually drink lots of tea when I'm there Although, there's all these signs up about hepititis and similar diseases, which make me a bit nervous so I often wash my cup up twice, although that makes me feel guilty. I think I'll stop doing that.

(oh btw, my computer is being quiet and not a policeman in sight, ahhh )

Last night was pretty intense, there was only me and two ladies there for help, so there's the three of us sat in the room with the social worker, our councillor and another professional (who I haven't met before - I think she's something to dow ith carers) who was a rather attrictive young black lady. She was asking me lots of questions and taking notes, I think she's doing research. Only confirming my belief that my life is some sort of an experiment!

The other people there were very kind to me and said some very nice things.

Also I might have a trip away to look forward to. Going to Yeovil on the 29th of March to watch Rovers play, but we might stay Friday and Saturday night in Weymouth where my friend's aunty has a flat. That'll be pretty cool, too bad it's not summer!

A lot of people on here are really decent. Reading other posts and comments I'm often humbled by the things said, and I feel privaliged to be a part of this community, amongst such fine people.

Anyway, I'd better do some work

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The Twins of the Ice

It was day break sometime in late March a few decades after the start of the event known colloquially as the never-ending winter. This phrase, however, was slipping out of fashion, for now the cold was all that could be remembered, so those hardy few who survived in this harsh age had no recollections of winters from the bygone, and somewhat warmer, era.
On this particular, and routinely chilly morning, two brothers were camped on a barren glacier. They were twins, but their parentage was where the similarity between the couple ended. Blue was the eldest, by an impressive thirty minutes, and so called because of the piercing blue eyes he’d received as a genetic gift from his now departed grandfather. He was stout, with a face full of freckles and a head topped by hair as orange as any setting sun you are likely to have seen. He had big rough hands and usually wore a smile capable of melting even the coldest of hearts on this icy waste.
His younger brother was the taller, darker of the two, who lived in a state of perpetual emaciation. His lank black hair fell over his high forehead pointing to the long, crestfallen face beneath. In a different era a man like Hans would have never been out of work, for any self respecting undertaker would have snapped him up as an apprentice on sight.
Blue had been up and active for the past twenty minutes; his mind firmly fixed on the quite unusual events of the day before and the magic sticks they had found. During this time he had fastened his boots, melted some snow - with the kindling found the day before - in a pan to drink and tried to stir his younger brother several times. He was now beginning to cook breakfast - a mash of kelp and herring that provided the staple diet of most folk in these parts.
The herring succeeded where Blue had failed. As the aroma of cooking floated gently into Hans’s sinuses he began to toss and turn, his sharp tongue protruded and licked his thin lips, his stomach gargled and rumbled then he suddenly sat bolt upright.
Hearing the commotion behind him, Blue looked round and flashed Hans one of his perpetual smiles. Those who knew him best, none more so than his long suffering younger brother, knew that the smile was merely how he preferred to hold his face, for usually his mood was blacker than even the darkest of nights. Despite his foul temper, he loved his brother dearly, and this morning, he found that his mood was lifted somewhat by the events of the day just gone. “It’ll be a week before we know your dead,” Blue said, softer than usual, “an avalanche would not wake you. Sleeping or dead? One of these days I’ll have to assume the later and leave you where you lay.”

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Rules: You can ask friends, but looking on the internet is strictly against the rules. If it feels like cheating, don't do it

Just name the band or singer who sang the following lyrics to win:

"I met him in a crowded room
Where people go to drink away their gloom
He sat me down and so began"

Good luck!

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